Yes , can't deny . For sure -.- Sometimes I felt like I should just quit but I am not that stupid :) So , I've to move on and pretend like I'm having a happy life like everyone did .
*Sometimes it makes me think , do people make fake smile like I did ?
Life will get tougher when you don't have the medium for you to stay strong or move on . Well , for example like , your family , friends , lover ? Well , money do too . Sometimes . Its not money that I'm talking about tonight , its the other three 'mediums' that I've just said .
Well , family . I have my family . Happy family and hell yeah I love them :) But it seems that I just can't get into them quite surely . Well , some do shares their sorrow , happiness with their Mum etc . But unfortunately not me :) Why ? I too don't have the answer for it . Trust ? I do trust my Mummy . And others do too . But sometimes I felt its not important to share it with her . Well probably I'm afraid that she'll burst it out when she's pissed with me :P Or I did something wrong maybe ? And she'll use it as the consequences -.- OMG . See , life's getting tough .
Friends . Oh , I have tonnes :) Well , best friends ? I am not a lonely girl though , so I do have . A few :) Well , I may easily got into people . *I am so talkative and friendly ? // IDK . But when it comes to declare them as best friend , I get stunned and it let me think . Deeper and deeper . Well , the answer is a clear NO . Its not because that I'm a choosy person , but its just that , I get easily touched - sensitive . Who could stand for a person like that right ? So , I just want someone who really understands me and accept me for who I am . When it comes to problems , *urgh . I got tonnes too ! But , its more cute if it have to stay secret allas to be left unknown :)
Lover . Sucks . I hate this part actually . Having crush ? Well yeah I do . Who doesn't ? But sometimes I'm confused either to pick or him or him . Well , before you're making that silly face , I'm not as pretty as my other girl friends are , I'm just simple and nothing special to talk about :) So , I'm not saying that I have this all boys around me who tries to get me as their soul mate , girl friend or etc -.- *eew , did I just say that ? :P Its just that , I have this few boys who are always there for me . Well , sometimes I do felt I'm special to them :P // truth right ? So , if . I repeat IF , I have to pick . I don't know -.- And sometimes , that J still appears on my mind you know . Oh seriously , its hard to get rid of it . But , I'm not saying that I still love him right ? To be honest , my heart is not owned by anyone - I think ? Well , Allah knows best .
Too much to think *sigh . Some things may go beyond my expectation .
Love . Hugs . Kisses .
Bell :)
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